#9

I'm being girly, and probably not going to tell the only person who reads this silly thing. BUT. I saw this. Holy Crap!

I want that!!!!! for my honeymoon. How awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

So with that being said.

The next few numbers are the simple rings I would like to have... Just to have..

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

Now for the doozy's :)

#1 beautiful

#2

I don't think I know anymore other ones!

That should be all but had to get my thoughts out.

Peace n Blessins

#8

I've been thinking. The weary need rest. right? An obedient spirit receives favor? and wisdom comes from being obedient right? I'm thinking all these things. and realizing through logic, trek with me here, if gaining wisdom from being obedient means resting when you are weary, then you will receive favor. Wow. What a sentence full. My brain hurts :)

But in all seriousness, I realized I was going to fast. Not really pacing myself and expecting I could do so much that I probably couldn't. Now that I've rearranged some things I have more time to do what I need and do what my mother has said. This is all good. The Bible also promises that I will have a long life if I honor my parents. Well all these things came crashing down on me. I'm not superwoman, wonderwoman, batwoman, catwoman, whoever else the super heros are. I never believed I was, but I did believe I could handle more than I could chew, and quite honestly, I knew it. I was embarrassed. That should have been the first sign. But did I listen? Of course not. Thankfully 1 email sent me over the edge and I completely reconstructed everything I had thought I had built and could do. My life is now 10x simpler. Praise the One who paid my debt! I feel as if I just took a breath and I didn't even realize I was holding it. Wow.

Anyways. Now that that is out of the way, it has made me put some other things on hold that I would have liked. And who's to say that they won't happen when I want them too:)

They probably won't.

This post is just going to be a bunch of things I've learned/thought/whatever and just haven't had time to write them down.

I was thinking about tears the other day. Tears : messengers for the soul. Sometimes good, often times bad/sad. But nevertheless, messengers. What a simple thing. How creative is God to create sometime so small and simple but speaks volumes. He is amazing I tell you. And if you ever have a real good cry fest, you know where you're ballin and tears are flowing. The Bible says he keeps records of every tear. EVERY TEAR. For Vivian Leigh Turner, that would fill a library. haha. He is that big. He hurts when I hurt. He rejoices when I rejoice, He is sad when I am sad. The tears are sacred although often spilled. When He is near, and I am weak, strong, encouraged, mostly humbled, I cry. Those are my favorite tears. To be in such a presence of God that my tears won't stop. Maybe those are His favorite too.

Wow. I'm so glad to be back in Auburn.

Got some new Chacos today. To say I am excited is probably the understatement of the week. They are children's Chacos with aliens on them :) Here they are: Alien Chacos

Sweet!

Well that's it for now..

By the way, I am loving the Bible Zane got me for my birthday. Seriously. Beautiful.

And I wanna be closer to Him, so I'm diving in, abandoned before the Lord, and searching for His heart. What a beautiful Journey it's been. :)

Peace n' Blessins

#7

To say it has been a while, is an understatement.

This semester is over and it has been a wild ride. I'm not sure if anyone reads this, if yo are? Hello. If not, well it's nice to get my thoughts out. It's been a crazy semester. I miss Auburn already. I miss Zane. But I'm glad to be in Birmingham. Thinking about everything this semester, that I've been shown, or learned.

1. Stay faithful in the little things.

2. Obedience equals favor

3. Let your Yes be Yes and your No be No and you will obtain trust

Most of the stuff came with 252 and work. It was amazing, to see such simple sentences acted out in everyday life. And it was wonderful little nuggets of truth.

But this semester was like a rollercoaster. Ups and downs. Not to mention feeling like everything was upside down. I never felt more distant from the Lord and never felt nearer. To say this semester has been crazy is an understatement.

Now it's the summer time. I need to be closer to the Lord. I have expectations.

1. I need to feel closer to the Lord, everyday.

2. I need to be shown things.

3. I need to grow.

4. I need to be bolder.

5. I need faith.

I do not want to be lonely. I need His presence more than anything. And today starts that.

On a side note,

It's May. That means I get to start my new Bible. I've been doing this for 3 or 4 years now, I would guess. This time its NKJV. and it was given to me by my sweet sweet Zane for my birthday. I'm excited to read it. Too read the beauty of the Lord.

Each translation isn't a right or wrong way, I believe it is just another aspect of the Lord.

Now. Here we go. Summer 2011.

Things I would like to do/learn/have this summer?

1. An xbox. HOW BOYISH. right? but I wanna learn how to play. I want one. I wanna be able to play with the boys and then beat them.. what is it in me that has to win?

2. I want a ukelele, to play, to learn, to MASTER!

3. I want a diamond.... okay okay I'm getting out of hand.

:)

have a good night.

I'll blog tomorrow,

hopefully :)

Peace and Blessins

#6

Today has been weird. So here I am. Writing my thoughts, and the process that took place in my heart today.

I am not worthy of the Lord's love. Yet here I sit. Enveloped in it. In the Silence. I sense the Lord and His goodness. I live in a beautiful house, in a beautiful town. I go to an amazing school. I serve at an amazing Church. And God is good. He is my lover, my best friend, my Father, my Comforter, my Peace, my Provision, my Banner of Victory, my Healer, my All. He's the breaths I take, and the song I sing. He's there when I cry, when I rage, when I hope, when I doubt. He's there. He will never leave me nor forsake me. What more could I ask for. And He still wants to give me these things, in light of the fact that I am not worthy. At all. I see all the Lord has done. I have wonderful friends. They surround me everywhere. I look to my left and my right and see the people the Lord has surrounded me with. And even as I sit here in my home alone, I know one thing. There are people all over this world that love me.

I had to say that. I was on the dang island this week. I felt lonely. I felt unloved. I felt forsaken. Not just by people, but by my God. I know that Homie never leaves me nor forsakes me. The crazy thing was. I know. But I hadn't experienced in a while. So there I was sitting on the island. I talked to my good friend Mary and when I told her how I was feeling, she said she was feeling the same way. You always find the bridge off the island when you see a good friend there too.

Today was difficult. I had doubts about my future. doubts about myself. doubts about what the Lord said about me. And I totally bought into the lies that hey you'll never be good enough. It was terrible. Thankfully for me, the Lord has blessed me with relationships with friends who understand my girliness and they attack those evil thoughts and stand for me, when I feel like I'll never be able to do it alone. It was wonderful to see the Love that God has shown me through my amazing relationships. I am just in awe of who He is. I love my Savior.

#5

So, Jesus

Completely in awe of HIM

He is still ALIVE

and full well doing the impossible.

All it takes is faith

and family

a support system of some kind.

Faith

What a weird word.

ABSOLUTE trust that something will happen when one cannot even see the possiblity of it happening.

Huge faith comes from knowing a huge God.

Where would faith be,

where could faith step in,

if all we served was a God who fits in my head.

Faith

is

huge.

Even the smallest act of faith, is a huge step.

Faith

lets go of what we know,

what we control,

who we are,

and says

"Thy will be done"

Woah

Imagine the things that could happen when you release the control.

When you release your hold

and say

"Thy will be done"

Miracles

faith leads to miracles

and

miracles lead to faith

woah

How great is our God.

To be able to grab hold of what he wants for us.

The knowledge

the experiences

of Himself.

If all we do is let go.

#4

COURAGE

such a scary word.

webster's definition: 1) the ability to do something that frightens one 2) strength in the face of pain or grief

wow. what a word. a person cannot put something concrete to courage. it is abstract but we all strive to have courage. to be courageous.

what does the Bible say?

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong"

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

wow. what a wonderful way to live.

yet this courage is so hard to achieve. why is that?

because fear grips us. to face that fear, to conquer it not once, but twice, that is courageous. that takes the breath out of you. it takes your might. it takes your life. its a wonderful feeling, but it's scary.

it is not easy to be courageous. its just not.

if i could give you some advice, even for myself. is be courageous. do it. don't hold anything back.

spit fear in the face. show that you are more than a conqueror. that you can do all things through Christ. in the end, although you are spent, it will be well worth it.

God is Love,

God grants you courage,

He is good

Goodnight

#3

Well my Friends. It has been awhile since there has been a post here. At least 4 months. There is so much going on in life. I guess I could list things. I like lists

1. I love my friends so much. I hang out with my best friend Zane until like 3 am. So special. Of course there is Mollie who is there as well :). Liz always is around too. She makes me laugh. Martha and Beth Anne are my Chinese buddies. Drew and I lead small group together. Jackson makes me laugh. Kaitlin has always been there for me and I couldn't ask for anyone better. Bethany is like a sister to me. Caroline is my longest known friend and has never left my side. Well not right now. We have moments, but we are family. And my sister. God love her.

2. I love 2:52. I am doing the internship again. But this time in Auburn. I am expecting great things. AHH

3. I love Auburn. Actually I believe in Auburn and Love It! WDE. Football season is here people.

4. I love China. Always. Why you think I'm in a Chinese Class!!!

5. German is kicking my butt, and I don't know why.

6. I love Michigan. This is a new love, and I have no idea why, but I love it. I think I'll move there one day.

7. I feel like I'm falling for someone who I should not be falling for. That stinks

8. God is good. All the time.

9. I am sinner saved by love and shown grace :)

10. I worked at a summer camp this summer. It changed my life and I miss that mountain so much.

11. I love to worship. EEK

12. My best friend is getting married in 2 weeks. I don't even know how to handle that situation.

13. Sophomore year. More being the key word. More work, More things to do, More friends, more more more.

14. I'm learning to serve and I love every minute of it.

15. I love hugs.

16. I love love.(cliche`)

17. I don't love cliche`s.

18. I love to laugh.

19. I miss my sister.

20. I miss my Murphy.

21. I miss Wills and Carter. The kids I nanny for.

22. I miss Jay.

23. I wait in hopes that one day, boys will get over themselves and just be my friend.

24. I won't tell your secrets, but I will pray for you.

25. There is so much more.

This seems like a pretty good list. I don't know what to do now. I should do some homework but I can't. I'm exhausted. 4 hours of sleep is probably not good for me :) I'll be back.

Zi Xian and WAR EAGLE