#6

Today has been weird. So here I am. Writing my thoughts, and the process that took place in my heart today.

I am not worthy of the Lord's love. Yet here I sit. Enveloped in it. In the Silence. I sense the Lord and His goodness. I live in a beautiful house, in a beautiful town. I go to an amazing school. I serve at an amazing Church. And God is good. He is my lover, my best friend, my Father, my Comforter, my Peace, my Provision, my Banner of Victory, my Healer, my All. He's the breaths I take, and the song I sing. He's there when I cry, when I rage, when I hope, when I doubt. He's there. He will never leave me nor forsake me. What more could I ask for. And He still wants to give me these things, in light of the fact that I am not worthy. At all. I see all the Lord has done. I have wonderful friends. They surround me everywhere. I look to my left and my right and see the people the Lord has surrounded me with. And even as I sit here in my home alone, I know one thing. There are people all over this world that love me.

I had to say that. I was on the dang island this week. I felt lonely. I felt unloved. I felt forsaken. Not just by people, but by my God. I know that Homie never leaves me nor forsakes me. The crazy thing was. I know. But I hadn't experienced in a while. So there I was sitting on the island. I talked to my good friend Mary and when I told her how I was feeling, she said she was feeling the same way. You always find the bridge off the island when you see a good friend there too.

Today was difficult. I had doubts about my future. doubts about myself. doubts about what the Lord said about me. And I totally bought into the lies that hey you'll never be good enough. It was terrible. Thankfully for me, the Lord has blessed me with relationships with friends who understand my girliness and they attack those evil thoughts and stand for me, when I feel like I'll never be able to do it alone. It was wonderful to see the Love that God has shown me through my amazing relationships. I am just in awe of who He is. I love my Savior.

#5

So, Jesus

Completely in awe of HIM

He is still ALIVE

and full well doing the impossible.

All it takes is faith

and family

a support system of some kind.

Faith

What a weird word.

ABSOLUTE trust that something will happen when one cannot even see the possiblity of it happening.

Huge faith comes from knowing a huge God.

Where would faith be,

where could faith step in,

if all we served was a God who fits in my head.

Faith

is

huge.

Even the smallest act of faith, is a huge step.

Faith

lets go of what we know,

what we control,

who we are,

and says

"Thy will be done"

Woah

Imagine the things that could happen when you release the control.

When you release your hold

and say

"Thy will be done"

Miracles

faith leads to miracles

and

miracles lead to faith

woah

How great is our God.

To be able to grab hold of what he wants for us.

The knowledge

the experiences

of Himself.

If all we do is let go.

#4

COURAGE

such a scary word.

webster's definition: 1) the ability to do something that frightens one 2) strength in the face of pain or grief

wow. what a word. a person cannot put something concrete to courage. it is abstract but we all strive to have courage. to be courageous.

what does the Bible say?

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong"

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

wow. what a wonderful way to live.

yet this courage is so hard to achieve. why is that?

because fear grips us. to face that fear, to conquer it not once, but twice, that is courageous. that takes the breath out of you. it takes your might. it takes your life. its a wonderful feeling, but it's scary.

it is not easy to be courageous. its just not.

if i could give you some advice, even for myself. is be courageous. do it. don't hold anything back.

spit fear in the face. show that you are more than a conqueror. that you can do all things through Christ. in the end, although you are spent, it will be well worth it.

God is Love,

God grants you courage,

He is good

Goodnight

#3

Well my Friends. It has been awhile since there has been a post here. At least 4 months. There is so much going on in life. I guess I could list things. I like lists

1. I love my friends so much. I hang out with my best friend Zane until like 3 am. So special. Of course there is Mollie who is there as well :). Liz always is around too. She makes me laugh. Martha and Beth Anne are my Chinese buddies. Drew and I lead small group together. Jackson makes me laugh. Kaitlin has always been there for me and I couldn't ask for anyone better. Bethany is like a sister to me. Caroline is my longest known friend and has never left my side. Well not right now. We have moments, but we are family. And my sister. God love her.

2. I love 2:52. I am doing the internship again. But this time in Auburn. I am expecting great things. AHH

3. I love Auburn. Actually I believe in Auburn and Love It! WDE. Football season is here people.

4. I love China. Always. Why you think I'm in a Chinese Class!!!

5. German is kicking my butt, and I don't know why.

6. I love Michigan. This is a new love, and I have no idea why, but I love it. I think I'll move there one day.

7. I feel like I'm falling for someone who I should not be falling for. That stinks

8. God is good. All the time.

9. I am sinner saved by love and shown grace :)

10. I worked at a summer camp this summer. It changed my life and I miss that mountain so much.

11. I love to worship. EEK

12. My best friend is getting married in 2 weeks. I don't even know how to handle that situation.

13. Sophomore year. More being the key word. More work, More things to do, More friends, more more more.

14. I'm learning to serve and I love every minute of it.

15. I love hugs.

16. I love love.(cliche`)

17. I don't love cliche`s.

18. I love to laugh.

19. I miss my sister.

20. I miss my Murphy.

21. I miss Wills and Carter. The kids I nanny for.

22. I miss Jay.

23. I wait in hopes that one day, boys will get over themselves and just be my friend.

24. I won't tell your secrets, but I will pray for you.

25. There is so much more.

This seems like a pretty good list. I don't know what to do now. I should do some homework but I can't. I'm exhausted. 4 hours of sleep is probably not good for me :) I'll be back.

Zi Xian and WAR EAGLE

#2

Hope.. such an overused word. such an overused emotion. We hope for things.. I hope for things. People "hope" their team will win the superbowl or NCAA anything. Girls, me included, "hope" that super special boy will notice her and think she is different. Wherein lies this hope. Why do we hope for things. Why do I want him to notice me. Am I not noticed by the King of Kings.

I think lately, I've put too much hope in a person. People fail you, and I don' say this to bring the mood down at all, it is just the way life it. Or maybe just a for the situation, I "hope" it will work out the way I want it too. I have all these hopes and dreams which then turn into expectations. With expectations come let downs and hurts. Why? I think fear has a lot to do with it. On both sides. You hope that it will work out this way because your scared the other way is wrong so you force it, almost. While on the other side, he is scared of hurting you and that it will be wrong, so he runs. It is scary. Life is scary.

There is one sure thing. JESUS. True Hope is found Him. And while you are sacred, he's the one that runs to you, not from.

That's about it for right now.

Peace and Blessings

#1

Today, I had lunch with a sweet girl named Erin. She encouraged me to write a blog so people could keep up with me over the summer :)

So Erin. A shout out to you my sista friend!!

Thank you for taking the time out to read this. How good is our God and King?

So good.

I guess I'll tell you the reason for this blog. This blog is not only for you sweet people to keep up with my life.. It is for the Lord and his Glory. That people will come to see and know him in my life. Everything about this blog is for him and his kingdom! So let his kingdom come! Hallelujah!

Next to that, it is also a place to let my thoughts out. And a place to tell a story. My story. Our story. His story. Whatever the situation may be.

Have a wonderful night! I must get back to studying now, school beckons!